One Flesh
Chapter Eight
The Emotional Side of
the One Flesh Union**The concepts in this chapter first appeared in this form in the book, A Guide for the New Renaissance, by Dr. G. E. Poesnecker, published by the Beverly Hall Corporation, Quakertown, PA 18951, in 1986. This chapter is an update of this earlier effort. These concepts have helped thousands of couples and we trust that you, too, will find in them a new and exciting view of diverse human nature.
It is said, and few there are who dispute it, that next to the preservation of life itself, sexual desire is man's strongest innate incentive. This fact accepted, it is easy to see why so much of the concern of human moralists is directed to this portion of the makeup of men and women.
Throughout all recorded history the inability to control this desire has led to the downfall of otherwise worthy men more often than any other single cause. Modern society is no exception. In fact, with our present liberalism in this area, we tend to lure men into committing these acts and then, in a "fit" of hypocritical Victorianism, suddenly castigate them for what had been previously encouraged.
In many ways, human sexuality is like the weather in Mark Twain's famous aphorism; everybody talks about it, but nobody does anything about it. We find our new "sex experts" as ignorant of the basic nature of this human incentive as were our Victorian and Elizabethan ancestors. Because of this ignorance on the part of even the best of those who presume to guide us in this important subject, we, as a civilization, constantly vacillate from one extreme to the other.
As the freedom of the Elizabethan period eventually gave way to the inhibition of the Victorian, so is the Sexual Revolution of the 1960s giving way to a new estheticism of the 1990s and the new millennium. Why? For several reasons. First, casual and promiscuous sex is one of the most prolific causes and disseminators of infectious disease known to man. In Elizabethan days it was syphilis and gonorrhea; today it is these same old favorites, plus herpes, Chlamydia and AIDS. Advocates of sexual freedom have always attempted to place the blame for these diseases, that rot the fiber of our young and not so young, elsewhere, but the plain scientific facts destroy all their contentions. AIDS is the perfect example of these efforts. Those who wallow in promiscuity and perversion attempt to assure us that AIDS (and all other sexually transmitted diseases) is only a disease and has nothing to do with a certain perverse sexual life-style. The mere fact that this disease, and all other sexually transmitted diseases, can be eliminated only by the pure sexual life-style promulgated in this work, gives the lie to all their assertions. Mankind will never be able to control such diseases until man is willing to correct their cause-a perverse and promiscuous life-style.
Second, sex without love erodes the human soul. In time it makes emotional derelicts of all who follow this course. When this degeneration finally reaches such a point that it becomes obvious to the majority of mankind, the sexual pendulum begins its swing back to the other extreme. We are now near the beginning of such a change.
Almost every normal woman, sooner or later, comes to a time in her life when she thinks about being a mother. In a period of licentious sexuality this desire can become a real problem. She usually discovers that those men who may be satisfactory as casual sex partners are rarely worthy of being the father of her children. What is she to do? This is a difficult question to answer. As a friend wrote me recently, "Sex is easy. Love is hard." So it is. As time and their biological clocks march on, these women must either leave their old ways in search of something better or accept the fact that they will probably not reproduce in this lifetime and so their DNA will not be carried on into the new millennium.
Third, although we are in a world in which much can be explained by science and our most trusted teachers assure us that there is no God-nothing beyond that which we can ascertain with our five senses-deep down many of us, particularly women, do not believe them. There is a subconscious sense within us that tells us otherwise. In fact, inwardly, we often feel sorry for those of the atheistic elite who have concentrated so much time and energy on their mental development that they have apparently lost contact with the "still small voice" within from which comes all true knowledge and wisdom. As a great Master of the past stated it, "They are lost in the meshes of the intellect."
The God-given monitor within us tells all, who are willing to even half listen, that there is much more to love and sex than is dreamed of by the so-called experts, both new and old. Therefore, many human beings, particularly women, because by nature they are generally more sensitive, are unsatisfied with the status quo and are looking for a better answer. Unfortunately for future humanity, the new course that is usually taken is the complete opposite of what was followed previously. This is one reason why, over the years, our public attitudes toward sex have consistently vacillated between frank licentiousness and repressive denial and abstinence. We trust that with this book we will be able to show humanity a new path. A responsible path. A middle path. A path by which all that is good and true in sexuality can be found, but which is of such a nature that it will not offend the sensibilities of even the most sensitive individual alive.
Basics of the One Flesh Emotional Concept
Earlier in this book three legitimate purposes of the sexual incentive were discussed at some length. Because comprehension of this information is necessary for a full understanding of the instructions in this section, it might be well to review those now if you have any doubts about their nature. In the previous chapters we gave some hints the basic theory of proper sexual emotional habits. We will now present the "meat and bones" of this important subject.
Up to this point in our text we have discussed much about the nature of the sex act and the dos and don'ts of sexuality from a physical standpoint. We now are ready to take up the matter of the emotional natures of men and women. While men and women have great need for one another, their built- in sexual incentives differ widely from one another. She usually has very little understanding of how his mind works and he knows even less about hers. The basis of the One Flesh emotional concept is to show each one the inborn incentives of the other so, thereby, they will be able to better understand their partner and mate. I have little doubt that divorce, now so prevalent in our nation, is caused more by a misunderstanding of these incentives than by any other single cause.
It is difficult to comprehend how many problems that plague human society today have their origin in the inability of men and women to understand the motives and incentives of each other. The most feared infectious disease of the day, AIDS, may also stem indirectly from this ubiquitous misunderstanding. Because men and women have such different desires and such a great gulf exists between them, many find it easier to relate to members of their own sex. In this way homosexuality is encouraged. It is, of course, the sodomy practice of homosexuality that has fostered the AIDS
epidemic. It is, therefore, easy to see why I believe we can, with good reason, lay even the AIDS disaster at the feet of the lack of understanding between men and women.*
*The questions may be asked, "Are not most homosexual men and women born with their invert tendencies? If this is true how could anything in this life have affected their sexual preference? The answer is not difficult if one accepts the concept of reincarnation. In past lives these individuals may have experienced confusion with the male and female roles discussed here. Having received no answers then, they may have created the answer we now see in their homosexuality.
It is the nature of this confusion that we trust we will be able to address and demystify. The One Flesh title comes from the words of the Nazarene when he stated, referring to the married couple, "and they twain (two) shall be one flesh."-Matthew 19:5. Although most theological authorities have given these words of the Nazarene (which he took from Moses in Genesis 2:24) a poetic meaning, he was not usually given to such flowery expression and, therefore, we are not entirely amiss to consider that he meant exactly what he said.* That is indeed a challenging thought. Is it really possible that two people could, through marriage, be altered to become the same or one flesh? Interestingly, the Hawaiians have a belief that man and woman were at one time one being that was separated by God and have ever since been trying to put themselves back together (one flesh?). Actually, this concept is not too unlike our story of Adam and his rib.
*Further Biblical evidence of this conclusion may be gained by the words of Saint Paul in I Corinthians 6:16, "What? Know ye not that he which is joined to a harlot is one body? For two, saith he, shall be one flesh." Here we have no pretense of poetry. Paul is talking about the results of harlotry and makes it abundantly clear that by having sexual relations with an harlot the man would (to some degree) make her a part of himself. They two would become one flesh. Thus, it should be clear to all that the criteria for the One Flesh reaction is not marriage but only the sexual act of intercourse itself.
Theology aside, a surprising amount of evidence in the scientific world tends to support this hypothesis. The work of John F. Oliven, M.D., mentioned earlier, also helps to support the One Flesh concept of the husband and wife actually melting into one being as they partake of the marriage rite.
When the fact, as demonstrated by Dr. Oliven, that the semen of each man is "as individual as his fingerprints" is added to our present knowledge, the One Flesh concept, which at first appeared vague and unsubstantiated, begins to put on flesh. It is our contention that the substances of the male semen and the female vaginal secretions have the power in time to actually change the genetic structure of the individuals in a One Flesh marriage, so that they do, in fact, eventually become, by all criteria, one flesh. That is to say, they tend eventually to look and to think alike to the point that they become but two separate facets of the same being.
We fully understand that this is a seemingly revolutionary concept, but yet the factual, as well as the historical, evidence strongly favors this assumption. Once it is possible for an individual to conceive of this idea, many new and interesting possibilities open up. We will explore these possibilities in a question and answer format for easier comprehension.
A Continuing Bond
Question: What if we are promiscuous? What happens then? What effect has male semen on these women?
Answer: As indicated in a footnote, there is little doubt that promiscuous women are affected by seminal exchange and to some degree they become a part of their male partner and he becomes a part of them. This relationship is therefore not completely ended as easily as we might wish. Promiscuous men carry around some of their women partners with them always. There is some question if even death itself is able to fully break this bond.
Question: When this is considered, we are placed in a most precarious position by our sexual liaisons. Why did God make us so sensitive to these sexual relationships?
Answer: The word you chose is the right one, "sensitive." The plan of our Creator was for man and woman to be sufficiently sensitive toward one another that they would be bound by their love from the first moment they became a One Flesh couple. They were designed to respond to the slightest feeling and contact with the each other. Each of these contacts should act as a further bond and melting agent to allow them to blend into the final one being. It is not the fault of God or Nature, His handmaiden, that man did not restrict his sexual attention to one, but, too often, diffused his forces and powers within the vaginal temple of many women. The same is true of women. The Law cannot be changed, or be set aside, just because man does not understand the rules or, if he does understand them, refuses to abide by them.
Question: What if a man used a barrier contraceptive (condom) for his promiscuous activities? Would not that prevent the attachment that you describe?
Answer: Surprisingly, it would not. We have described the permanent relationship established by the exchange of seminal and vaginal fluids, but this is not the only, or necessarily the greatest, force involved-only the easiest to explain. Each of us has a specific wave or vibration pattern that is an integral part of being. These vibrations mix and coalesce in a most entangling manner with those with whom we are intimate. It is these vibrations that hold us to other individuals and make them a part of our being whether we desire it or not. This is true of both men and women. When a condom is used the sin is double since the literal casting of the seed upon the ground takes place as well as the promiscuous fornication.
Question: What about divorce or widowhood? Does the same Law apply?
Answer: The Law cannot fail to apply. It just is and, therefore, must work accordingly to its nature. One must remember that it was meant to be a very good thing to have such vibrations and physical changes become a part of our being. But if a marriage decays after a time and divorce seems the only way out, it may be by far the lesser of the two evils.
The One Flesh principle can be a two-edged sword. If the love that should exist between two married persons has become more closely aligned to hatred or disgust than to love, these adverse vibrations are exchanged during the marriage rite and, while the two still tend to become one person, this is not a very nice or desirable person.If this couple are divorced, the changes wrought in both do not go away immediately. Some tie between this man and this woman will always be present, although it can be greatly reduced by a wise course of Spiritual development and/or a new true, loving One Flesh marriage. In this latter instance it is up to both parties in the new marriage to so live as to negate as much as possible the adverse One Flesh "programming" of the first relationship.
When a loving partner dies, the remaining partner is left with two possibilities and both have the power to be in full harmony with the One Flesh concept. When the wife of a well-known Initiate died, he was asked if he would marry again. His answer was simple and to the point. "She is but gone on a journey ahead of me to help prepare our new home. Now what kind of loving husband would I be if I sought another at this time?" He was, at the time of his wife's transition, a mature man surrounded by a loving family, so he had little reason for loneliness and this must be taken into account.
Under other circumstances, if the widow or widower were younger or if the bond between the original two was not as strong as above, a second marriage might be more understandable. There would, of course, be a certain interaction between the One Flesh effect of both the first and the second mates, and no one can tell in advance which would dominate. I have known, as I am sure everyone has, second marriages under these situations that have worked out extremely well and others that were total failures. As with everything in marriage, success or failure depends on the ability of the spouses to make the most constructive use of the One Flesh principle.
Question: Considering what you say about vibrations affecting the other partner, would this mean that a One Flesh relationship could exist to a degree between two homosexual lovers?
Answer: This is not an easy question to answer. Not that the answer is difficult, but that it is not easy to describe the subtle emotional distinctions involved. The One Flesh marriage depends on two main factors: the physical sexual and emotional differences between the male and the female and the vibratory harmony that these two are able to establish in their marriage. No matter how much they might try, the homosexual couple can never bridge the gap created by this first requirement. The One Flesh battery is made up of a positive and a negative pole. It is these differences in polarity that makes for the power of the union, just as it is in all manifestations in nature. All force and activity is the result of the difference between one pole and the other, no matter what those poles may be.
This is not to say that it is impossible for two men or for two women to create a very close relationship that is the equal in some ways of many good marriages, but this is only, as implied, half the battle. The other half is beyond the ability of man to change even with his hormones and sex change operations. The true quality of being able to act as an individual pole of the One Flesh battery must come from God and Nature and cannot be successfully imitated at a later time.
The One Flesh Battery
Question: What do you mean by the "One Flesh battery"?
Answer: As indicated above, all activity in the Universe, and that includes what we call inanimate structures as well as living beings, exist because of the principle of positive and negative forces and their poles. For existence, as we know it, we must have two equal, but opposite, forces in action. There can be no example in Nature where this does not occur, although at times it may be difficult to comprehend these forces at work. By the equal, but opposite, action of these forces stability and equilibrium are achieved-somewhat in the manner that two matched teams in a tug-of-war keep the rope stable and immovable.
With the man as the positive pole of the One Flesh battery and the woman as the negative pole, we have the beginning of potential electric power. We say "beginning" because no battery is functional with two poles alone; there must also be a proper amount and consistency of an electrolyte. In this instance the electrolyte is the LOVE that must be present if the One Flesh battery is to function. Once all these elements are in place, electricity can begin to flow and no one can say how great will be the power of this particular battery, because this depends strictly on the parties involved. We can say, however, that no more potent force is known on Earth than a Spiritually awakened One Flesh battery.
Question: What made you first consider the One Flesh concept?
Answer: When I was an eager young man, I looked for a mate who would have the same feelings and desires that I did. Whenever I met someone who was like this, I soon found the biological chemistry was missing and that it was usually present only with girls who did not necessarily think as I did.Later when I was a practicing marriage counselor, I discovered another disturbing fact. Often when I interviewed the husband and the wife separately, the difficulties each related had absolutely nothing to do with the story told by the other. If I had not known they were husband and wife, I would have sworn they had never even met.
As I mulled over these and other less important, but related, factors, I reluctantly came to the conclusion that the emotional mechanism and needs of men and women must differ greatly one from the other. Subsequent observation and investigation over the past forty years have consistently substantiated and reinforced this belief.
Question: Suppose that there are basic differences in emotional responses between men and women. What is the purpose of these?
Answer: A good question. God and Nature do nothing without a good reason. I believe these incentives, as I like to call them, have very important reasons for existing and for being unique to each of the sexes. Their primary purpose, as I see it, is to preserve the species with little thought for the esthetics of the couple involved. Assuming my theory is correct, since the world's population has continued to grow at a healthy rate despite all of mankind's efforts to limit his progeny and to destroy his fellowman, we must give Nature and God credit for the effectiveness of their incentives.
Although the two primary incentives came to light first, since they were fairly obvious, as the research proceeded it became evident that the married couple had not been left bereft of the possibility of "humanizing" incentives as well. The secondary incentives have as their purpose the developing of sympathetic emotional feelings between the loving couple, and, in this way, are among the major factors in producing and maintaining the One Flesh marriage.
Question: I'm not quite sure I understand what you are talking about. What is the nature of these individual incentives? Maybe, with that information I can better understand.
Answer: I'm sorry if I seem to be getting ahead of myself. To my knowledge, there are six major sexually oriented inborn incentives, three for the man and three for the woman.
I call the first Primary Sexual Incentives (PSI); these apply to both men and women but are unique in each. The PSIs have basically one ulterior reason for existence and that is to assure that the race and even the species will not perish.
Secondly, for the man there is the Masculine Creative Desire (MCD); for the woman, the Female Creative Desire (FCD).
The last two of the six incentives are the Secondary Sexual Incentive (SSI) and these apply equally to man and woman although as with the PSIs they are unique in each.
Sexual Incentives
Primary Sexual Incentive in the Man
Probably the most easily understood of the incentives is the male Primary Sexual Incentive (PSI). This is a strong desire (often stronger than reason or even life itself) to cohabit with the female of the species. There is nothing particularly exalted about this desire, except that it is very powerful and without it the human race undoubtedly would have died out centuries ago. Inasmuch as the average unregenerated man has little in common with the female of his species, were it not for this overwhelming urge to copulate they would have few reasons to congregate together. In general, many of the things that women do, or even think, drive most men to distraction (I'm told the same is true with women about men). Undoubtedly, this is one of the reasons for so much abuse of women and their children today.* The raw root nature of many unregenerated men is not that far from the aggression and drive which inclines many male animals to try to eat their young. As we will see a little later, it is only the ability of men to develop a Secondary Sexual Incentive that helps keep them from emulating the beasts of the field entirely.
*This is not to be taken as an apology for such behavior on the part of men or an attempt to blame the "victims" for this abuse. Any man who would abuse women and/or children is despicable from every point of view. He lacks the control that is required of all true men. However, what we are attempting to show is that the basic incentives in men do not, by themselves, ameliorate this tendency toward abuse but on the contrary may contribute to it. Only masculine regeneration (as described later) is the real cure for this situation and the protection of women and children at risk.
Some of the women readers of my early books on this subject complained, "It isn't only women that drive men to distraction but men also drive us to distraction." I could not agree more. This is true, of course, in my opinion, because of the differences in the sexual incentives between men and women. The comments of these women only tend to validate the One Flesh concept further.
In the last analysis, it is the desire to have a socially acceptable outlet for this strong Primary Sexual Incentive that drives most men to the altar. On the other hand, it is a complete misunderstanding of this fact, and of the true nature of the male PSI, that makes marriage so miserable and difficult for so many young wives.
Nature (and God) has done all she can to program (force) man to continue his species. She has placed within him an almost overwhelming incentive to cohabit with the female. She does not care if this is within marriage or not. She only desires that the human race shall continue and, to this end,
she does not depend on the good will or intelligence of unregenerated man (she knows him too well for that) but has placed within him an incentive that transcends both his will and his intelligence. What he does with this incentive is up to him. It is in the proper and constructive use and direction of this powerful energy that man has the ability to use his will and intellect. The choices he makes will determine whether or not he remains an unregenerated beast or transforms himself into a regenerated being made truly in the image of God.
Primary Sexual Incentive in the Woman
The Primary Sexual Incentive of the budding young woman is entirely different from that of the man. Nature does not need a desire for sexual intercourse, per se, on the part of the woman to continue the species. Nature desires only that the woman is willing to participate in the creative act. The central desire of most women that brings them to the marriage bed is the desire for love and affection, not for lust, as in the man.
What Nature does demand of the woman, in addition to this loving acquiescence, is the mothering instinct to bear children, love them and assume all the other inevitable results of the sexual relationship. Toward this end, the Primary Sexual Incentive of women is not a sexual drive as in the man, but a desire* for love and affection, plus the need to reciprocate this love and affection to both her mate and to the progeny that are the natural outcome of their relationship.
*There are really no words in the English language to describe this incentive. The main reason for this is that the language is basically a masculine invention and since men are not by nature privy to this incentive they are not about (or able) to develop words that can describe its true nature and importance.
The female PSI, that is, the desire on the part of the woman for love and affection and the need to give this same love and affection to others, is one of the most unappreciated qualities in all human existence. Without it, all civility and compassion in human affairs would disappear. It is, as we will soon discover, the example and substance of the masculine SSI, the only hope of humanity to create the prophesied Heaven on Earth.
Other Related Sexual Incentives
Although the Primary Sexual Incentives are similar to those of many of the lower animals (not all, however, since there are many examples of strange sexual combinations in Nature), there are other related incentives that seem to be unique to human beings. This should not move us to smugness, however, since some animals have inherent incentives that we would do well to emulate.
The first of these uniquely human incentives we will discuss is the Masculine Creative Desire (MCD). Because our findings have shown that this incentive is unique to the human male, this part of the One Flesh concept has been hotly debated by some women ever since we first brought it to public attention over thirty-five years ago. It seemed that although women are willing to agree with the assertion that God and Nature have endowed them with incentives and abilities not given to men, they are not yet readily willing to concede that these two benefactors might have done the same for the poor lowly man. After reading the following, you will have the ability to decide this issue for yourself.
Masculine Creative Desire
The MCD is the incentive in the male that drives him to do things because they can or should be done. Even beyond this it drives him to do that which "cannot" be done. From the beginning it must be understood that this incentive is only an incentive and thus independent of rationality or good sense. This is one of the most compelling reasons we do not find its counterpart in the female. She is (must be, because of her need to protect her children) basically too rational and too practical a being to engage in the ridiculous nonsense that is frequently manifested by the MCD. This nonsense is the consequence of the unfettered nature of the MCD. While it is the driving force behind most of the creativity in the world, it is not the creative force itself. Both men and women have the ability to create on many spheres of action through the activity of their minds and the harnessing of the power within their Sexual Creative Center, but the incessant drive of the MCD, though a part of such creation, is still separate and unique.
MCD is, by itself, unrelated to both ethics and morality. It is unrelated to good and evil. It is an insatiable drive to do that which has never been done before. It is a compelling drive forcing men to die for a principle they may not even be able to put into words. It is the same sort of compelling drive which, in the Godhead, resulted in what we know as Creation.
The same MCD that motivated Adolf Hitler moved Abraham Lincoln to his great deeds for humanity. The same MCD that drove Genghis Khan to conquer the known world caused George Washington to risk all he had to create a new free nation. This same incentive motivated the sadistic doctors of the concentration camps and those who, today, spend all their waking hours attempting to discover a cure for cancer.
Perhaps the best way to characterize the MCD is to state that God gave woman the right and ability to create the most profound object this Earth can know, a being with an embryonic soul who has the potential of becoming a co-creator with God Himself. To man, nothing of equal value could be given, so in an attempt to create some sort of an equal balance, man was given the rest of the Universe to use as his field of creation. This accepted, we can see some validity in the phrase, "It's a man's world." Yes, it is a man's world but all the men that have built this world were first created and instructed by women. This is God's Master Plan. Men are but the actors on the stage of life. Women are the directors, producers and, of course, the backers of the play.
The MCD is the motive force behind such male creativity as music composition, race car driving, painting and sculpting, mountain climbing, soldiering or becoming a missionary in a God-forgotten land. Because of the irrational and uncompromising nature of true MCD, men are usually willing to take all these, and every other such endeavor, to extremes not to the liking of the more sensible female. For this reason most innovators in any field will be men. At the same time, of course, most of the kooks and nuts in any field will also be men. This is the natural expectation from the MCD drive.
Because of MCD, this most wonderful, but paradoxical, incentive, men have come out of caves and treetops to create the advanced civilizations we know today. It, and it alone, is at the bottom of all such temporal developments. Unfortunately, this same MCD frequently leads to serious problems in the relationships between men and women. The difficulty lies in the fact that MCD is by nature amoral and cold. It, of itself, has neither heart nor compassion. This does not mean that men cannot exhibit these qualities, but only that these attributes are not a part of this incentive. If the qualities of warmth and understanding are to become a part of any masculine nature, they must be developed from another source independent of their MCD.
The MCD, perhaps even more than the PSI differences between men and women, has the tendency to create a perpetual rift and animosity between men and women. There are two major reasons for this:
First, because of man's subconscious feeling of inferiority that he is not able to create and nurture a human life, he has from time immemorial attempted to diminish, in the public thought, the value of this tremendous accomplishment by women. He has indeed attempted, and in general succeeded, in convincing even most women that their God-given creative ability is a much lesser thing than that generated by his MCD. In fact, his success in this endeavor has been so phenomenal that, today, the great majority of women do not themselves doubt the authenticity of this point of view.
Surprisingly, many of the modern women's movements, dedicated to seeking equality for their sex, seem to accept these same erroneous conclusions that the world created by men is somehow superior to that of women's creative sphere. Ironically, men's constant efforts over the centuries to destroy women's appreciation of their quintessential feminine creative qualities and to substitute their own lesser masculine ones have produced in women a longing for these artificial values. Women are now rising up and demanding an equal opportunity to do battle with these false gods that men have erected. What can men say or do now? They built a "Men Only" club and convinced the world that it was the apex of all human endeavor in order to elevate themselves. Now women are clamoring at the door of this exclusive club, demanding entrance. Most certainly, "chickens," created by men over the centuries, "have come home to roost" and, in most instances, it couldn't happen to a more deserving sex.
What does concern many thinking individuals on this matter, however, is not the well-earned distress of men, but, rather, the effect this situation has on today's women. Even at the peak of their past subjugation, most women were faithful to their own basic sexual incentives and, therefore, were in harmony with the Laws of God. Now it appears that women (those animated by the desire to emulate men in their world), unless a rapid about face is attempted, are forcing themselves into a most unfortunate state that lowers them, not only below the exalted status of the natural God-exalted woman, but even below that of the crude creature called man. Once a woman puts aside the incentives that are her natural inheritance, she has no way to go but down since her natural place is at the pinnacle of earthly creativity. The desire on a woman's part for liberation from what she has been taught is "her place" can change her mental attitude, but it cannot change her incentives. She cannot possess a true MCD (not that any knowledgeable woman would want one) and, therefore, once she has given up her own incentives, the best she can expect is an artificially manufactured copy of the masculine MCD. The astute observer, one who is familiar with the principles of these human incentives, quickly recognizes when a woman is attempting to function on this level, and even the most hard-hearted among us must feel compassion for these women since they are attempting to play a game they cannot win. The only way a woman can "win" in life is to build on her own inherent sexual incentives. With these natural incentives lie all her creativity, potentiality, power and eventual happiness.*
*An earlier edition of these One Flesh concepts was distributed to various women's groups for comment. Most of their comments were very astute and helpful; they have been incorporated into this work. We quote one response in its entirety: "Do you really have the right to tell women what to do with their lives? If they want to enter the man's world, do they not have that right? Do they not have the same right to experience and learn by success and failures as men do?" Of course, they do. Every individual in the world has the right to live his or her life as he or she sees fit. We believe, however, that we have a responsibility to share with both men and women alike the experiences we have had in this area of expertise. We honestly feel that all women who enter the world of men will, in time, learn the folly of this effort. We trust that by our discussions in this work we will be able to convince some women to save this time and effort for better purposes.
The second reason that MCD creates a breach between men and women is that it is a world to which wives and sweethearts are not particularly welcome. Therefore, it frequently creates a gulf between men and women, and there is no easy way for a woman to bridge that gulf. Surprisingly, the more a woman tries, the greater the gulf often becomes for various reasons.
For example, to a man the world of MCD is the antithesis of the sexual world. The same center of energy (the Sexual Creative Center) that creates in the sexual world is the one that fires the world of his MCD. Thus, the more of one, the less of the other. To a man, the things he considers "womanly," that is, related in his mind to women, are in the sexual realm. The more she attempts to come into his realm of MCD, the farther she departs from the realm of the sexual-the position in which he places her in his consciousness. I know that women feel this conception on his part is irrational and illogical. They are correct, but remember, MCD is not rational or logical.
A man may accept a female into his world of MCD, but once she is there, she becomes "only" another man and is usually treated as such, much to her chagrin. No man with a normal MCD wants a wife or sweetheart to be a competitor in his world. In most instances, for a woman to do so is to sign the death warrant to the true love and affectional relationship she desires. What most men desire from a woman in relationship to his MCD is a subservient dedicated helper in his efforts and a number one admirer of his final results if they are good and appreciated, or a loving compassionate supporter and sounding board if they are not so good or appreciated.*
*These last few statements brought resounding complaints from my early female readers. They assured me that they were not about to be subservient to anyone. If you read the above carefully you will see that I did not recommend such subservience, but only stated that this is what most men want from a wife in regard to their MCD. Actually, their determination to not do so only proves my point which was that the MCD could cause a "breach between men and women." Many women are not willing to play the part of the adoring, but objective, wife regarding a man's MCD. This determination then allows the seeds of dissension to grow and the possibility of a One Flesh marriage grows dim. The divorce rate in our nation is among the highest in the world. We have no doubt that the resistance to understanding and accepting the nature of the MCD may well be one of the major underlying causes of this fact.
All else being equal, a woman can go far in assuring the success of her marriage if she is able to understand both the nature and the demands of the male MCD. While we certainly sympathize with those women who feel that their husband should understand them and not expect them to kow tow to his MCD needs, we find that most such woman usually end up divorced or married to an exasperating wimp. To the woman who learns to master the eccentricities of MCD, men are no longer a mystery. Their actions are now logical and predictable, even if they are not particularly always admired or appreciated.
Female Creative Desire
God is no respecter of persons, neither is He a respecter of sexes. His gifts are distributed equally between the two genders. However, since they are created for separate functions, the nature of the incentives from gender to gender varies for obvious reasons. The Female Creative Desire (FCD) is designed by Nature to awaken in a woman the desire to have a family and to nurture that family until the children are able to fend for themselves. The strength and nature of this incentive in a woman can no more be understood by the unregenerate man than a woman can comprehend his MCD.
Incentives are not designed by Nature to be understood, only to be obeyed. The intellectual character of the human race is too erratic and arbitrary for Nature to leave such really important things to its discretion; without the FCD, the continuance of the human race would be short-lived, just as without the MCD we would all still be living in caves. To prevent the early demise of this irascible bunch called human beings, Nature instituted incentives in mankind similar to those already in place in most of the lower animals.
The FCD may awaken early in the reproductive life of a woman, or it may be awakened later on. There seems to be no understandable pattern. In many women, the desire begins almost as soon as they are capable of conceiving, while in others it may come to life only as they approach their biological cutoff point for conception. It is very possible that the modern demands on women to have a career first and then think about a family at a later time may well have something to do with this variability of timing. Most certainly, however, there are women who very early in their lives have little desire to do anything other than be a good wife and mother, while there are many, today, who think of this only as an afterthought.
Observation shows that the various manifestations of this incentive seem to occur only as the need arises. It may well first manifest only as an undeniable desire to be a mother. Once conception has occurred, the more subtle mothering instincts usually begin to emerge. Once the child is born, the natural woman receives the full impact of this incentive and her nurturing and protective compulsions reach their zenith. As this first child begins to mature, a point may be reached when Nature will say, by her incentives, "It's time to have another," and this cycle will be repeated. These feelings can be intellectually understood by men but never more than that-in the same way a woman can intellectually comprehend the male MCD but never really feel its crazy impelling drive coursing through her veins.
Since time immemorial, male scientists have attempted to create life in the laboratory. Most of these scientists were- and are-by their own admission, atheists or at least agnostics. They find it difficult to accept a God that would give to the "lowly" woman an ability that is denied to them. Therefore, they continue their labor in the vain attempt to show this God, in whom they profess not to believe, that they are as good as He; that they to can create life without the efforts of woman. In this sense they are the counterpart of the feminist who denies the existence of the MCD. They deny the existence of the FCD since it does not fit into their own agenda. With these efforts both groups are attempting to play God and change the natural order of His world. This has all been tried before and all those who have attempted to do so are now but footnotes to the history of mankind and his various civilizations. "Oh, what fools these mortals be!"
One of the main secrets of the happiness, success and peace inherent in the One Flesh concept is the eager acceptance and acquiescence of each of the sexes to the Divine Plan concerning the separate genders. Those who truly comprehend this concept will be wise enough to know that they chose their gender for this incarnation and that should they wish to be of a different gender in the next incarnation that is their privilege. However, attempts to make this gender change (speaking emotionally not physically) during any single earthly incarnation is to place both the body and soul in jeopardy and must be considered most cautiously. Long experience has shown that Spiritual advancement for persons born male is to be best enhanced by becoming more masculine, not in the vulgar or macho sense, but by learning to develop all their inborn incentives to their most exalted and godly extent. Likewise, for those born of the feminine gender, their greatest development comes not by attempting to emulate the male, but by developing their inborn feminine incentives to their most godly potential.
Some Important Last Words
About MCD and FCDBefore we enter the magical world of the Secondary Sexual Incentives (SSI) some clarifications regarding the MCD and FCD must be made. When the One Flesh concept was first made generally known over thirty years ago, it was branded by many women's groups as sexist, because they felt it was an attempt to degrade a woman's place in the world created by men. Nothing could be further from the truth. These groups, like many others, tended to misunderstand the differences between intelligence, talent, human creativity and these incentives, particularly the MCD and FCD.
The masculine creative incentive (MCD) does not necessarily give men any particular intelligence, wisdom, talent or creativity that is in anyway superior to that of women. It does tend to direct qualities men possess into certain areas that Nature finds useful for women's and the family's ultimate purposes.
All things that have been created have at their base one essential factor-desire. It is entirely possible for a woman, by her desire and will, to enter the same fields as men and to succeed where many men may have failed. Desire and will have the ability to overcome all the incentives. This fact does not mean that the incentives do not exist or that it is good to attempt to ignore them, but only that it can be done. Personally, we have found that the wisest plan is to understand these incentives and then to use both desire and will to work in harmony with them whenever possible. However, this is something that every individual has the right to discover for himself or herself. In this work we are only attempting to show what these incentives are; what you do with this knowledge is up to you. Never forget, the One Flesh incentives were not placed in us to limit us but, rather, to allow us to develop the best that is in us. There is no creativity inherent in the incentives of the opposite sex that one cannot equal or exceed by the judicious use of desire, will and effort.
A man may have a strong MCD but not possess the intelligence, talent or desire to do anything productive with it. These men are some of the world's most miserable creatures. It is a misery no woman can truly understand any more than a man can comprehend the urge within a natural woman to have a child and her distress if this is not possible.
Perhaps this difference between incentives and desire would be better understood if we were to compare the incentives (instincts) of birds to that of a human aviator. Each year the birds take off at a certain time to make a long flight to a specific spot in a southern clime. This is done year after year without fail or deviation. It is regulated by the incentives placed by God (Nature, if you will) in these beasts at their conception. These incentives were placed there for one reason: To assure the preservation and evolution of the species. This it has done and will continue to do unless man in his "infinite wisdom" interferes.
For many centuries man envied the birds' ability of flight and tried to emulate them but without much success. Finally, by the power of his desire, creativity and effort he was able to emulate the flight of our feathered friends. But he also has one great advantage over the birds. He can fly where and when he wishes, because he is not governed by the limiting instincts of the birds. He can also fly faster and further than any bird alive. On the other hand, he does tend to crash more frequently than the birds do since the air is not his natural element.
So it is with human creativity. There is in both men and women an inborn incentive to create. The objectives of this creativity are distinct and unique with each sex and, like in the birds, are placed there by Nature in an effort to perpetuate and idealize human kind. However, both men and women, since they are given, by their Creator, the two great boons of intelligent thought and free will to execute the desires of that thought, have the ability either to harmonize themselves with these incentives or to change them to whatever purpose they desire. We see the evidence of these different desires throughout our world today and in the past.
Women may decide that they do not want to be mothers but would rather enter the world of men and beat them at their own game. Some men are willing to stay home and take care of the house because they really enjoy it. It is a common trait of human nature to think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I would not be surprised to discover that we have been given the right of free will by God to allow us to come to a fuller understanding of the correctness of His original incentives by the suffering and sorrow we create through our deviations. In essence, we all are prodigal sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father and must some day return to Him after assuring ourselves that His ways are best, after all. But, like our Biblical counterpart, we may well first squander nearly all our sacred inheritance in riotous living and attempts to thwart the Natural Law before returning.
There are, of course, many legitimate reasons for the repression or sublimation of these incentives, but even this is not to be accomplished without a certain amount of effort and loss. In some religions, the leaders, both men and women, are expected to repress or sublimate their natural sexual desires and expression. Unfortunately, no one told Nature about this, and she keeps placing the same old incentives in the bodies of children born to the non-celibate members of this faith. This fight between man's conception of Spirituality and Nature's truth has been going on for many centuries and, as yet, neither side is showing any signs of giving in. In such a fight, if you are inclined to be a betting person, it would be well to put the money on the side of Nature, for she has always, in the past, proven her superiority in such matters. Can we be criticized for wondering if a religion that prevents its best and most holy men and women from procreating is not doomed to retrogression and ultimate extinction if such a practice is allowed to continue?
While it may seem, from what has gone before, that we take a dim view of the many of the "Women's Movements," this is far from our intention. There is no doubt in our mind that these movements have done much to dispel the irrational notion of inherent male superiority. All this is to the good. We are now entering a time when men and women will be looked on as equal, though distinct, creations of God. The mistake that we feel has been made by many of these groups is in accepting the fallacy, generated by men, that theirs was the better world and therefore something desirable for women to enter. Men created this illusion to subjugate women over the centuries, and now it seems that many of the women's groups are buying into this "man-made" deception. They have taken women out of the slavery of the home only to place them in the slavery of the work place.
We must disagree with one point that has been advanced by some in the Women's Movement, because it disregards human incentives entirely. That is the Behaviorist Theory of human endeavor. Under this theory, we are told that what we have for long taken as human gender traits are but learned responses and if we change the learning we will change the traits. We are told that we force little girls into mothering by giving them dolls and boys into soldiers by giving them guns to play with. We are assured that if we reversed this tendency we could turn little boys into child-nurturing beings and little girls into aggressive fighting "men."
Unfortunately, for the Behaviorists, every attempt to validate this theory by independent objective researchers has always proved the opposite of their desired conclusions. The reason for these results is easy to explain. They ignored the various sexually specific incentives described in this work. While you may be able to slightly modify human desires by changing the environment, you cannot turn a man into a woman, or vise versa, by such activities.
Obviously, men have attempted to make their world (of money and power) seem attractive, and who among us can deny any woman the right to explore this world that has for so long been forbidden to them? Unfortunately, by the time they realize the complete emptiness of this world for women, it is usually too late for them to partake in the great satisfactions of the world that God gave to them alone. To me this is sad, but I would not for a moment attempt to deny any woman the right to try this road.
Most certainly, women, like men, have a right to "make a difference" in the world. The question that comes to mind is, "How can they best do this?" What really changes the world for the better? Is it not the changes toward good in the hearts of men and women? Where do we learn the qualities that have the ability to change the world by first changing our hearts? From our mother. She is the one who guides us during our formative years. A wise religious prelate once stated, "Give me the mind and heart of the child to the age of seven and I care not what you do with him after that. You will never be able to remove the values I instilled in him."
Who can say this man is not correct? It is, of course, the mother who instructs the child to the age of seven. It is she who can instill either good or evil in his mind and heart. Would you change the world for good? Would you really like to make a difference? Then let our mothers teach by words and example the love of God and all His creatures. Let them do what God intended them to do and they shall be rewarded in ways that no man can know or his world deliver.
Before we leave the MCD and FCD incentives, one point must be made as plain as possible: THESE ARE INCENTIVES. THEY ARE NOT COMMANDS. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEM, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO ATTEMPT TO IGNORE OR SUBLIMATE THEM. On the other hand, it has been my experience that to ignore or deny their existence is possibly to court problems in both public and private life. We have come to Earth to learn and to experience, and to do this we must be willing to examine all the possible influences in our lives. Certainly these incentives are among such factors.
The Secondary Sexual Incentives
Female Secondary Sexual Incentive
The incentives described above are inherent in almost all normal humans. The two now to be described are unique in that they are only potential incentives, although almost all humans develop, to a lesser or to a greater degree, some of these qualities. Few women will disagree with the concept that their Primary Sexual Incentive is a desire for love and affection. Most of them also know that as they become more sexually active, a true desire and need for the marital rite also becomes a compelling need. This growing need is explained by the development, by stimulation, of their Secondary Sexual Incentive.
Nature, as mentioned previously, has no need for a strong sexual drive in the normal young girl. In fact, such a desire would be detrimental in that it might cause her to cohabit with those who would be considered undesirable to the advancement of the race. Her inherent primary incentive in maidenhood is to meet someone who will fulfill her needs for love and affection. To this man, she is willing to give herself as a demonstration of her love and affectional nature toward him and not because she desires the pleasures of sex, per se. All this is according to the needs of Nature for a better race of men.*
*The unscrupulous man knows this about young women and so will seduce them with the challenge, "If you really loved me you would let me." You know the rest. Due to the nature of the female PSI, this approach almost always works unless the girl has been taught the nature of her own incentives and those of men. If she judges the ways of men by her own feelings she is easily led astray.
Once she marries, the circumstances change. She begins to develop her SSI, which is nothing more or less than a modified male PSI. Due to the stimulation of her sexual centers and of the emotional changes that are an integral part of married life, she begins to develop a desire for the sexual act itself and for all the contentment it brings to her. There are several reasons for this, but the three most common are: Nature's reward for a job well done, the frequent need by her body for the substances in the male semen and as a counteracting impetus to her husband's involvement in his MCD as he attempts to provide for his family.
Both Nature and God are always ready to reward those who obey their Laws. Whenever a normal woman commits herself to the marriage rite, she places herself in a position of jeopardy due to the ever present possibility of pregnancy and its occasional complications. Fortunately, this danger is not as great as it once was, but it is always there, nevertheless.
A woman's nature is so composed that, once she begins to accept this responsibility, she has the opportunity to receive increasing pleasure from the act that places her in this jeopardy. God and the Law would be unfair otherwise, and this is not possible, since under the Divine Law there is no obligation without reward and no privilege without obligation.
Admittedly, for various reasons, many women do not (or are not able to) take advantage of this opportunity, but that does not lessen the reality or value of this boon from God. We trust that, as more women read this book, they will be able to develop their SSI and adhere to the One Flesh concept. As they are able to do this many previous inhibitions will be overcome and a new joy will fill their lives.
When a woman takes upon herself the obligations and duties of a wife, the stresses on her body are greatly increased. To supply succor for these increased stresses, God placed within the male semen various nutritious substances and hormones that she may use to fortify her body's hormonal and immune system.
Admittedly, in the past, science has given us little information on these needs and the effect of the seminal fluid in relieving them, but researchers are now becoming more aware of these needs and of the beneficial effect of semen to help them. Most natural women require this "fix" once or twice a week, and it is a poor or unwise husband who does not see that it is supplied. As many men immerse themselves in their MCD to provide for their family, this need of their wives could be forgotten were it not for the feminine SSI, acting through the wife, as a frequent but gentle reminder.
The female SSI is one of the most intriguing of all the sexual incentives. Not because it is difficult to understand (which it is not) or because it is so rare (which it is not) or even because it is so little understood by the world of science (which it is), but because it so perfectly shows not only the ingenuity of God and Nature but their compassion as well. The single, nonsexual active woman has no need for the male hormones, since she is not confronted with the stresses of childbearing and childrearing. She, therefore, can function well with the natural substances allotted to her by Nature without external augmentation. However, once she is willing to take upon herself the responsibility of a home and family, God so arranged matters that her increased needs are met by the regular sexual emissions from her husband.
God never neglects His children, unless we willingly disobey the Laws He has given us. For this reason, the mother who is divorced or deserted is to be pitied. She has the care of a family, but lacks the support of the male hormones which are her natural due. Can one really blame such a woman for looking for new male companionship to supply that to which she had become accustomed as her right under the Laws of God and Nature? This possibility is certainly one more reason why a woman should choose a husband wisely in the first place.
Another compelling reason for the female SSI is, as alluded to above, to help compensate in the marriage for the common flagging interest of men in the sexual act as the years pass. The nature of his MCD is such that, as a husband becomes more engaged in his own creative efforts, the creative energy in the Sexual Creative Center is directed more toward these needs and is directed less toward the normal desire for sexual release. Because of her SSI, the desires of the wife may well be the initiating factor for the sexual union at this time in their lives. Since, as observed in other chapters, the marriage rite has the power of both physical and Spiritual Regeneration it is very important, to both husband and wife, that it continue as often and as far into their life span as possible. Without the female SSI, this would not occur in many instances.
There is one final reason why the female SSI should not be ignored. With its development, men and women have an incentive they may share. This can and should be an important step in the true One Flesh union. By this step, they are in a position to fulfill the full promise of the One Flesh concept as they are then in a position to develop his SSI-the true marriage equalizer.
Male Secondary Sexual Incentive
Of all the incentives, the male Secondary Sexual Incentive is probably the rarest and, as such, the most desirable. The natural male animal with his PSI and his MCD is still only a brute at heart, no matter how he dresses and acts outwardly. There is no humanity in his PSI, even though it is essential for the continuance of human life, and the MCD is the motive power of all worldly development, but it is cold and calculative by nature and, therefore, not a force to bring a man to God. If anything, at this time in human development, it would seem that the MCD tends to draw most men away from their Creator and into the entangled web of their own minds. Something more is needed to civilize this animal called man and make him a fit companion for his mate-and God. This need, we feel, is supplied by the male SSI. As with the female SSI, this incentive in the man is the counterpart of the PSI in his mate. That is to say, the SSI of the husband is the same ability to develop love in the heart that is the inherent badge of the natural woman of God. When man develops this incentive, he becomes not only the more ideal partner in a One Flesh marriage, but a true benefactor to all humanity as well.
Ninety-five percent of all the evil in the world today stems directly or indirectly from the abusive use of the male PSI and MCD without sufficient male SSI to properly control and direct these two potent forces. Can you think of any man- created evil that cannot be explained by the misuse of these two incentives, or any that could not be alleviated by the correct application of unselfish love by those involved? We are told that man, from his hormones, has natural aggressive tendencies. This we do not deny, but state unequivocally that these can be transmuted by the male SSI into beatitudes to be admired by all.
Before we can change the world, we must first change ourselves. As a man develops his SSI, he gains greater harmony, love and rapport with his wife, for he is now developing an incentive she can fully understand and appreciate. Thus, it is the development of the SSIs, by both parties to the One Flesh marriage, that makes the "marriage battery" really work and creates a union that is the envy of all who are aware of it. Such a pair will radiate all that is good and pure to such an extent that all who come near cannot help but be beneficially affected.
Those who aspire to this same state of bliss can draw help and sustenance from this pair, but those who are not willing to make the sacrifices necessary for such an accomplishment will attempt to belittle them. They will have little success, however, because the love this couple exudes will defend them more eloquently than the arguments of the most skilled advocate.
One may well ask, "How does a husband develop his SSI?" To some degree the process is automatic as the couple practices the One Flesh embrace. The exchange of seminal fluid and female lochia play a vital part in this process. During the marital embrace the essences of the wife gradually become embodied in the being of her husband and vise versa. Also the example of the loving and sacrificing wife will eventually have a civilizing effect on all but the most vulgar and brutish of men.
Perhaps the most effective way for a husband to develop his SSI is through the use of the Regenerating and Spiritualizing uses of the Sexual Creative Center. By these efforts, a part of the One Flesh union, he can develop his SSI to a point that is only dreamed of by most women and knowledgeable men.
The Need for Understanding
Question: That's quite a concept, but what scientific evidence do you have that these incentives really exist?
Answer: One cannot open the brain or the heart to see these incentives; therefore, the proof is always left to the individual to discover. This is equally true of all great advances in the humanities. Become a knowledgeable observer of mankind and see if most human actions cannot be explained in light of these incentives. We have been doing this for almost forty years and each day's observations help to reinforce our original investigations.
Question: For the sake of argument, let us say you are right about these incentives. Of what value is this information? It seems a lot of academic gobbledygook to me. What people need now is real help with their problems, not a vague theory.
Answer: You are certainly correct when you say that the people of the world need help, but all such help must begin in such apparent "gobbledygook." There is no greater waste of time and effort than to give help to someone who remains ignorant of the cause of his problems. This system has been tried in our country for many years, and, as the Bible warns, our last state is worse than our first. Men and women are in a state of constant war and frustration because they do not comprehend the nature of their own innate incentives as well as those of their mate. Invariably, they attempt to create relationships that are doomed from the beginning because they are based on expectations diametrically opposite to these innate incentives. They are like a football player racing toward the wrong goal. He does not require our sympathy! He does not need our encouragement! He does not require a task force or a foundation to help him! Nor is he in need of greater sensitivity to his plight! All he needs is someone to tell him the truth, turn him around, and aim him at the right end of the field. Once this is done he will do the rest without further assistance from science or government.
So it is with husbands and wives. All that has to be done is to show them that they are running in the wrong direction and point out the correct end of the field. That is what we attempt do with the One Flesh concept. If these principles are first understood and then put to work in a couple's daily life, most interpersonal confusion will finally become a thing of the past. This does not mean that all couples will have been able to reach the goal of the One Flesh marriage, but it will mean, at least, that they have removed their blinders and now know which end of the field to run toward.
Question: Can't I have a good marriage unless I understand and except this concept?
Answer: Of course, you can. You can also drive a car without knowing one thing about what makes it run, but, when something goes wrong, knowledge of a car's functioning would certainly come in handy. The average couple will find their existence much more to their liking if they apply the One Flesh concept in their lives. Admittedly, some persons seem to understand some of these incentives intuitively. These individuals have the ability to know the right thing and do it. They are not common, however, and their rarity helps to point up the general need for the wide dispersion of this concept.
We are always suspicious when one partner describes the marriage as "good." What a husband calls "good" may mean he finds it good because it fulfills most of his needs. If we interview his wife, we may well find a much different view of the marriage. It is not unusual for a man to truly believe he has a good marriage, only to receive first divorce papers a few days later. Such is the nature of the emotional chasm between male and female today. We feel that the best way to brook that chasm is through the understanding obtained through the One Flesh concept.
Question: If these incentives are in all of us, how do you explain the great differences between individuals? Some men are more aggressive by nature and some more naturally loving. Some women fit your outline, but certainly, particularly today, there are those who seem to be just as lustfully oriented as men.
Answer: You are absolutely correct, but, to the knowledgeable observer, it is these very incentives that make that difference. It is the individual balance of these incentives that helps to differentiate persons.
A man who has a very strong PSI, a weak MCD and nearly no developed SSI will have a very different personality than his friend who has a moderate PSI, a strong MCD but not much more SSI developed. Both of them will find trouble in understanding a mutual friend who has both a PSI and MCD of ordinary strength but who has developed a very strong SSI.
The same differences hold true for women although the personalities will not be as similar as those of the men above since their incentives are not similar. While the man with the strong PSI, weak MCD and almost no SSI may well become a menace to society as a possible rapist or child molester, the woman with the same balance of incentives might use this balance of her incentives to become a dedicated and loving nurse or teacher.
Although I am sure the astute reader can, by this time, picture for himself or herself the different types of personalities created by various balances of incentives, we will describe a few of the common ones to give an idea of the great variety possible by the manipulation of these few built-in incentives. It must always be remembered that the average man or woman is not usually far unbalanced. However, even slight imbalances can, and do, have very important effects on how we think and act. On this subject we should mention the fact that most of us tend to judge all others by how we would think and act if placed in their circumstances. Since their balance of these incentives is not the same as ours, this judgment would be inherently flawed. As the man of Galilee stated so eloquently, "Judge not, that ye be not judged." We would not desire that those with incentives different than ours should judge us, so why should we attempt to judge them? This does not mean that we accept evil. The evil act must always be judged under the Laws of God and Nature, but never the person who commits the act since we are not able to know what brought him to commit the act or his motive in doing it.
The Male Imbalances
The male PSI is a powerful force that can be very constructive but also holds within itself much destructive power if it is not balanced by an equally powerful MCD and eventually (hopefully) a blooming SSI. By the power of the male PSI, the world has been constantly populated, thus producing a consistent source of new physical bodies for returning souls to inhabit. However, in many ways, it is also the main force behind much of the aggression and abuse created by men, particularly toward women and children.
On the regenerative level, a strong male PSI is required for the best results from both physical and Spiritual Regeneration aspects of the One Flesh union. Here it is necessary that it is balanced by an ever developing male SSI.
Since the MCD tends to draw creative power from the PSI, it is a moderating force of the PSI in the average male. If it is extremely powerful, it may well push the PSI into the background, even more than a wife might desire.
The male SSI is the saving grace of all his incentives. As such, it is the only incentive that is usually never too strong, although even this does occur and may need to be understood for what it is before it, too, can cause harm.
The man in whom the PSI predominates will almost always have sex or its corollaries almost constantly on his mind. While this is understandable and expected in his teenage years, as he matures he is expected to give more and more credence to his other incentives. If he cannot, he may become a menace to himself and society. A wise father (or mother if a father is not available) will do well to attempt to activate and encourage the young man's MCD as he matures, if it does not develop by itself.
Men with an overbalanced PSI are sometimes difficult to help but often help can come from a male mentor who is able to encourage the equal development of their MCD and SSI. It is usually very difficult for women to change these men, although many try. They want only one thing from women and, take my word for it, it is not advice.
The strong PSI in and of itself is not bad; in fact, it is very good if it is properly balanced with an equally strong MCD and male SSI. It is the imbalance in relation to the other incentives that is the problem, not the intensity of the PSI itself.
The man with an incentive balance tilting toward the MCD is the typical "nerd" type of man. These men are also the dreamers and builders of the world. They are the movers and shakers-both for good and for the not so good. If they allow their MCD to predominate and even submerge their PSI they can prove very exasperating to a wife. Sometimes if their MCD is very powerful they will marry late (kind of as an afterthought) or not at all. Frequently, if a wife is patient and willing to use her womanly wiles she can help to resurrect the PSI in such a husband but it is not always easy. Not a few divorces have been sought by wives of men with an overbalanced MCD and little SSI to compensate.
It is rare to find a man with an overbalanced SSI, but it can happen. This may be a trait that was developed in a previous life (how else can you explain it?) or was developed by his proximity to a loving mother and/or sister(s). This is usually troublesome only if the man allows others (either men or women) to take advantage of him due to his trusting gullibility. As mentioned earlier, we tend to assume all persons think and act as we do. In the case of the overactive male SSI this presumption could lead him to trust where he should not trust and to believe those he should not believe.
The Female Imbalances
Since the female PSI is similar to the male SSI we may well assume that the dangers of the overbalance of her PSI is similar to an overactive male SSI. We would be correct in this assumption. There is one great difference between the two, however, and that is the rarity of the male variety and commonness of that of the female.
Every would-be seducer worthy of this name knows that the best pathway to seduction is to appeal to the young girl's love and affectional nature. The stronger her affectional nature the more likely she is to fall for his "line." It is for this reason that such young girls have been jealously guarded and protected by their families over the centuries. These families well know the power that can be exerted on a young girl by appeals to her love and affectional nature.
Since she does not have an MCD to drain off the energy of her PSI she has to depend on her training in the nature of men and her own will (won't) power to defend herself from the siren call of the seducer. We trust that a better understanding of the One Flesh union and the true nature of the male PSI explained in this book will be of help to all young girls in giving them a good reason for telling the seducer, "If you expect me to show you my love by offering my body, first show me your love by a wedding ring on my finger."
There do seem to be a surprising number of young women today who have an overbalance of FCD. These are the women who desire a child but are not particularly interested in marriage or a husband. One could question whether this is really an overbalance of FCD or just a desire on the part of these women not to miss out on anything in life (except, of course, as they see it, the problems of dealing with a husband).
There is a more common incidence of an overbalanced FCD, however; this is in the woman who, usually due to a brutish husband, directs all or almost all her love and affectional nature to her children as soon as they arrive. As indicated, these women are usually married to a husband who is either always engaged in his MCD or one who looks on a wife only as a socially accepted outlet for his PSI. In either instance, she will frequently retreat into her FCD as soon as she is able. Once there, it takes a very concerted effort on the part of her mate to change the status quo. About the only way this can be done successfully is by the development of his SSI. This is not easily done in this instance, however, since she is not likely to cooperate to the needed degree in the One Flesh union, if she allows copulation to function on this level at all.
Today, at least if what we see on our popular media is a reflection of real life, one of the most common incentive imbalances is a premature awakening of the female SSI. As mentioned previously in this chapter, this incentive is to be awakened by the husband's sexual attentions during the One Flesh union. The female SSI is her reward for assuming the responsibilities of a wife and mother, just as the socially accepted outlet for his SSI is the husband's reward for assuming the responsibilities of the husband and father.
Since it is the nature of us humans to desire to gain rewards without accepting the requisite responsibilities, we find men who have for years attempted to find ways of receiving the rewards of marriage without accepting the responsibilities thereof. Is it any wonder that the fair sex has decided what is sauce for the gander is also sauce for the goose?
It is not a new finding that a woman can activate her SSI by physical and even mental stimulation of her sexual organs. It was for this reason that families, in the past, not only attempted to protect their young daughters from male seducers but also from all things and persons that might tend to initiate activities that would awaken their SSI prematurely. Today this is almost impossible unless we keep our daughters in a locked room, without television, from puberty until their wedding day. This is not a viable option, nor would it be all that good if it were, since undoubtedly such incarceration would bring its own problems.
What can a father and mother do to help keep their daughter in the emotional virginal state before her marriage? The best thing I know is for the parents to live the true One Flesh life and teach the principles of this life (as outlined in this book) to their children. Children are not dumb; in fact, they are usually much smarter than we give them credit for. They only need to be exposed to the truth. Will this help all? No, some will learn only by their own mistakes and experiences, but it is incumbent upon parents to teach the truth, as they see it, to all their children.
There is another type of woman who may well develop an overbalance of her SSI without the benefit of marriage and that is the modern single career woman. She has put her career ahead of all other things, but as she advances to the age when many women are married she, like many of her single male companions, comes to desire the rewards of marriage without assuming the responsibilities. Masturbation, promiscuous sex and even lesbianism may be the results of her awakened SSI. What can we say? She has the right to choose her way in life. We can only trust that, before it is too late, she will find her way back to a rational, productive One Flesh union.
The One Flesh Concept in
Regenerating the WorldOur world cannot really be regenerated unless the One Flesh marriage becomes the norm and not, as now, the rare exception. We look forward to a new renaissance in our world, that is, a renewal of life. This is what must be done with the relationships between men and women in our society. For centuries, men and women have pretended to cooperate in an understanding fashion, but the greater part of this has been sham. Only rarely have men and women really understood or trusted one another. They have usually only tolerated each other because it was to their personal advantage to do so. Polite society so arranged its institutions that a life outside of marriage was frowned upon. Those who followed this rebel course were ostracized, even if they were secretly envied.
In the last few decades this practice changed (?), and a Sexual Revolution took place. All the old sexual taboos are now forgotten and we can do openly what we did in private all along. Have we reached nirvana? Not according to the multitudes of complaints voiced regularly. Our new freedom has brought us only more heartache and suffering even though we still are not willing to place the blame for this where it really belongs-on our attempt to circumvent the Laws of God and Nature.
The earlier, more conservative dictates of society offered some stability to malefemale relationships. But that is now gone, and we are wallowing in a sea of desires without sextant or compass. One has but to observe the themes in many recent Hollywood movies to see this confusion exemplified. In these screenplays everyone wants all the pleasures of the sexual union, but no one wants to make any real commitment. Morality, for its own sake, is a thing of the past. In the New Renaissance of rational thought that lies ahead, the monogamous One Flesh union will be the salvation of marriage and human sexuality. Not because it will have the sanctification of society, but because it, alone, has the power to bring to men and women the ultimate human contentment, pleasure and accomplishment.
The variations of human activities in relation to One Flesh incentives is truly endless. It has not been possible to delve beyond even the surface of this subject here, but enough has been given for the ardent student of human nature to have a field day watching the actions of his fellow earthlings as they go about their lives being directed by these incentives, but ever eager to deny such external influences.
Summary of the One Flesh Concept
When it is first encountered, the idea of the One Flesh marriage and the innate incentives that are important to its comprehension are difficult to grasp. Most of this difficulty stems from the fact that mankind finds it hard to contemplate such simple, though basic, factors of being. Man is, as it is said, too close to the situation. Today, it is only the rare individual who gives much thought to the question of "why" we are here, and yet it is in truly seeking the answer to this query that we are able to find not only our reason for being, but also vital understanding on all planes of human activity.
God and Nature so constructed us that we could not, even by our most irrational thoughts and actions, fail to obey their most basic Laws for the species' preservation. God's first desire was for man to multiply and populate the Earth with the bodies of men and women who had within them a spark of Divinity from the Godhead Himself. To assure the accomplishment of this need, they placed within these human creatures (also into most of their other animal forms) certain powerful incentives which we call Primary Sexual Incentives. The main purpose of these incentives is to assure the continuance of the species by establishing human drives so strong that few can resist the desire to cohabit and then, following the birth of the young, for the wife to nurture and raise the offspring until they are able to fend for themselves and for the husband to provide sustenance, for all, by his efforts in the world. For many species, this is all that is required. We can observe this simple basic incentive functioning in various parts of the animal kingdom, such as our feathered friends.
All that is needed from the male is the intensely strong desire to mate with the female. He must be willing to brook any danger and difficulty to accomplish this purpose. In Nature, the weak fail in this effort, but by this means the species is strengthened, since only the physically superior are allowed to create the new generation.
From the female, Nature requires an entirely different service. It is not necessary for the female to have the same PSI as the male. In fact, it would bring havoc to God's creation since both husband and wife might well do what is necessary to prevent children so that they might enjoy all the pleasures of the sexual union with none of its inhibiting consequences. From the female, all that is obligatory concerning the sex act is her acquiescence. Once the new being is conceived, however, the female Primary Sexual Incentives come into full play: the desire to bear the "fruit of her womb" and the mothering instinct to protect this "part of her" until it is able to be on its own. Interestingly, all animals know when it is time to set their child free. But this is a difficult lesson for many human mothers to learn.
By these two incentives alone many of God's creatures are able to prosper and populate the Earth. For humans, however, another incentive has been added to further this project of perpetuating the species. This incentive is an important part of the human species. Because the protection and sustenance of the human family could not be left to chance, another basic incentive was provided for the human male, the Masculine Creative Desire. Originally, this incentive was created to assure that the husband would always provide for his family, but in the human male it gradually metamorphosed into an individual male creative force that is almost completely
incomprehensible to most women in the same way that the desire to bear and nurture a child is incomprehensible to a man. MCD is a prime example of the ability of the human being to modify a given incentive to fit the personal requirements of this more advanced form of life. Whether this modification is for the good of mankind or not depends entirely on the direction this expanded MCD takes.*
*Some of my female readers have commented on this point to ask if the MCD can be modified to meet a more advanced lifestyle, cannot the FCD do so as well. Most certainly it can. We see this in the many fields of worldly endeavor in which women excel. In such activities as nursing, teaching children, running day-care centers they are extending their FCD in the same manner that men have extended their MCD. In both instances the basic nature of the incentive has not changed, only the application to which it was put.
The Secondary Sexual Incentives seem to be exclusively human, but we must question whether they are truly new incentives, different from those previously discussed, or only an evolved human metamorphosis from these ancient primary drives. We are not now prepared to state from where these incentives come, but we have no such doubts concerning their existence. Without them, not only would the One Flesh marriage be impossible, but all human advancement would be stifled and we would probably still be living in the caves of our distant ancestors.
The SSI of the woman is the factor that allows her not only to have a sexually oriented desire in common with her mate but also gives her reason to remain constantly desirable to him so that she will be able to obtain from him a constant supply of those benefits present in his semen that are so essential to her ultimate well-being.*
*Women are so constructed that, if they remain virgins, these same needs and desires do not manifest. This is Nature's way of actually producing two creatures in one when she made woman. This was recognized by the priests of old when they reserved certain religious functions only for female virgins. This separation is not changed with age as long as the woman remains a virgin.
Once a woman's SSI is awakened, however, she has changed, and the virgin innocence can never be found again, at least not in this life. Her only chance for contentment is to work to produce a One Flesh marriage that will allow her to create a true balance between her PSI and SSI.
As the One Flesh marriage progresses, the wife begins to absorb other qualities of the male along with the masculine-like sexual desire (SSI). These qualities can bring to her the better attributes of her husband in the same way that his natural traits are augmented by hers through the sexual union. In this way she is able to advance toward that balance of human qualities so desired by our Creator for all His children. There is more than a myth to the concept of the human being once having been one creature that was torn asunder and is obligated to bring the self together again. As mentioned before, while we are complete in the One Flesh marriage, this is not enough. We are also required to become "whole" within ourselves. To do this we must not only mate with our lost half, but must gradually absorb the best parts of this other half into ourselves until both we and they, in fact, become ONE FLESH.
What we have said about the female SSI is even more important for the male SSI. Although the integrity of the marriage and the home depend much upon the wife's developing her SSI, the future of all humanity is in the hands of the male SSI. Within this incentive lie all the good things that exist, because in it is the nature of everything that is spawned in LOVE. Man (the male) is not by nature a loving being. Nature does not require it. But if man is to become a God, as promised in Genesis, he must cultivate this beatitude. Where better to do so than in the arms of that embodiment of love God placed in the world-woman?
A man can absorb the love nature of his wife from all that is part of a One Flesh marriage, presuming two things. First, he must understand the desirability of such an effort and, second, he must recognize that his wife has a strong love nature to use as an example. The wise man realizes that all ultimate success in life, here and hereafter, depends on his inherent love nature. This may not at first be fully understood but a few moments' reflection will help clarify the point. Look back in history and tell me if you can name a man who is still highly regarded and adored today who did not have a strong love nature? A fine cold calculating mind is respected at the time and is frequently helpful to mankind's advancement in various fields, but is usually soon forgotten. On the other hand, if this person has developed his love nature, the vibrations created by this accomplishment will continually reverberate throughout the Universe forever and keep his memory ever alive and fresh. For this reason the memory of the Nazarene, Washington, Lincoln, and, yes, President Reagan,* will live on, not only because of their accomplishments, but also because of their strong love nature and their disdain to judge their fellowman but at the same time never approve of any evil.
*This was originally written while President Reagan was still in office, and, when we came to prepare this edition, my first inclination was to remove his name, but then I remembered what the press and even his detractors called him-the Teflon President. Why did they call him that? Because no evil stuck to him. And why did no evil stick to him? Because he had placed a shield of love around him which all felt, even though they did not understand it. It is this same shield of love that any man with a developed SSI can, and should, place around himself. Such a shield will also make him a Teflon individual-one protected by the light of love.
This nature of LOVE to exist eternally once it is created is one of the reasons that good will triumph in the world, because all LOVE discharged into the ether lasts forever, while EVIL is eventually destroyed by its own weight and destructiveness.
In its final form, the One Flesh marriage is somewhat of a paradox in that the closer the "twain" become one and the more alike they become, the less they have need of the other for their own completeness. Carrying this line of thought to its completion, we might ask if the One Flesh couple reaches a point where the two are the same, are still two persons or only one? This is a mystery that each One Flesh couple must solve for themselves. But, as Scripture informs us, "With God all things are possible."